Kids Jokes

"Dad, can you write in the dark?"

"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"

"Your name on this report card."

 

***

 

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

 

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

 

The little girl replied, "My homework."

 

***

 

The child comes home from his first day at school.

Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

 

***

 

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?"

"That's exactly what I said!"

 

***

 

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"

 

"Somebody else's pants."