Humour

501.

I want to present you this musical cassette of 'love story'!

Is it?  I thought it was your favorite!

Yes my girl, it was, but I am no more in love with any girl now, and so, I now present it to you!

*****

502.

I hope I didn't trouble you to give me this lift on your scooter!!

Trouble?  Not at all!!  In fact, it was a pleasure for I was the centre of admiration with a pretty girl like you on the pillion!

*****

503.

You are just a Stenographer!

But my wife is an Executive!

*****

504.

I may be the most inefficient amongst the newly recruited staff, but so long as I am the senior-most amongst them, I care a damn!

*****

505.

What change do you think you have made after giving up smoking?

I have started chewing paan - Doctor said it is a side effect!!

*****

 506.

I gave a lift to your daughter on my scooter!

Is it that she has been waiting for you?

No aunty, in fact, I have been waiting for her!!

*****

507.

I am very much upset today, sir!!

I wish you could tell me what your problem is!

Sir, when you informed me that you would issue me a letter of promotion, I distributed sweets and soft drinks to my colleagues, but till today, I have not received the said letter!!

*****

508.

My fiancée says that your jokes are flat.

She must be another 'nut' like my fiancée who has no sense of humour!

*****

509.

Earlier I wanted to die, but now that I have succeeded in getting a girlfriend, I want to live a hundred years!

*****

510.

What is the problem with you darling?  In fact, my mother says you are such a wonderful person!

That's the problem darling!!  Her daughter, whom I propose to marry, that is you, does not say these sweet words to me!!

*****

 511.

Besides all your assurances, what is the special assurance you will give me, if I take your insurance policy?

We will take care of your family after your death by paying the entire sum to your family!

*****

512.

See. I am determined to get married to that boy, but he is such a poor beggar having no bank balance!!  I only want to know if he has at least an insurance policy!

Please go ahead - he is insured with us and we will take care of you if anything adverse happens to him!

*****

513.

What is that that makes you proud of your husband?

The insurance policy he holds!

*****

514.

Congratulations on being a bread-winner!  And now what is your next step?

To be a wine-and-wife-winner!

*****

515.

When I return to my home country, I shall not work in any firm, but start a business of my own, and multiply my money I earned in the Gulf!

What type of business are you intending to go in for?

That's the problem - I still do not know!!

*****

 

Ends.....

  Thanks

By Samson Fernandes