The following jokes are written by me out of my own imagination, and I hope you will like them.
Would you believe? I worked with 12 Ministers!
Tell us also the secret of your putting on so much weight!
What have you done for the benefit of unemployed youth?
I took VRS and created a vacancy!
How is your Madam treating you now?
Tell her she must be expecting!
She told me to tell you that you should first get married in order to know about pregnancy!!!
There is hardly any work Sir due to slack tourist season!!
Why don't you come to office with your car, madam?
When you have so much wealth, why don't you buy a mobile phone, sir?
Your teenaged daughter makes faces at me!!
Becuase you 56-year-old-butler said that you want to marry her!
I can't believe that you are B.Sc.!!
Then which subjects did you take in B.Sc.?
Can you tell me something about tourism industry in Goa?
Yes, Sir! That the 'phonren' tourists bring in a lot of phoren exchange to Goa!
What will you do if I die before you, my sweet heart?
I shall be the first one to come to your funeral!
What was that 56-year-old bachelor confiding in you softly?
That a young nurse fell in love with him when he was admitted in a hospital !
Your command of English is very poor - how did you pass your graduation?
How did you feel in using the Chairman's toilet?
Oh, I felt like a Chairman too!
Wait, I'm going to tell your Mom that every now and then you go on the 'internet'!
Uncle, please don't mention it to her for she will come to know that I have a girlfriend!!
Why is she sitting on your chair so long?
Oh, she is warming it up for me!
No one likes you in this office!
Neither do they like you, sir!!
How come you are 10 children whereas we are only two?
It's because our Mom got married at the age of 18!
Why do they call him No. 7, went up to Heaven?
Because his girlfriend's roll number is 7 !
He says you are hardworking but not intelligent!!
He thinks that his only son is only intelligent!
Then how did you get six children!
No married man makes friendship with me!!
Because, as a bachelor, you might fall in love with their wives!
How was my singing performance in the drama competition?
Excellent! But you did not wear your dentures!!
I was the best in my singing competition, but I did not get the prize!!
It was because you did not wear your dentures!
You spoke for a short while on the phone!!
My wife doesn't permit me to speak too long as we might get a shocking telephone bill!!
He says he is not afraid to die!
He says it because he is a bachelor!
Sir, take disciplinary action against him - he is writing jokes on us in the office!!!
Sorry, he will also write jokes on me!!
I don't see you doing any work!!!
I also see some ladies idling their time in chit chatting, sir!
That's not your look out - it is their nature!!!
Why do you think I have been given an outdated Computer in the office?
Because you are the oldest lady!!
I am buying this Dictionary for my son. Do you have any recommendations for it?
Then in that case you use it for yourself as your English is very poor.
Why does your daughter looks in the mirror and study?
She says that at the same time she can admire herself!
You also get married ,and you will also receive a contribution from us!
That's a wise thing - I'll take your advice seriously!
Why do you want to get your daughter married abroad?
So that I also get a chance to go abroad!
Why do you think she runs away when you see her with her husband?
Why do you want us to give you publicity by publishing your articles in our magazine?
My God, what a handsome husband you have - I am dazzled and very jealous of you!!
What is so great about him? Everyone says I am not as handsome as he and that "depresses" me!!
My son don't jump like that - you will break your leg!!
Why is your husband not listening to you even if you are right in your arguments?
Would you mind if I polish your article and then publish it?
Of course not, so long as my photograph is published along with it!
Why does he want the medical certificate form?
He says he is likely to fall sick next week!
He fell in love with me while I was studying in his college!
There are many grammatical mistakes in this typing!
I am fully aware of it, sir. But that is what you have dictated, sir!
Be careful - they are trying to kill you!
If that is so, I am happy to die as a martyr as I'll go straight to Heav en!
When he is so old, why is he always surrounded by young girls?
You see, he has two young handsome marriageale sons!
I was in love with her for so many years, but never did I touch her, to be very frank!
Then it is 'not' love at all!!
Is it a religious book that you are reading, beautiful young lady?
No dear, it is a love story book - I am also in love!
Why did her Boss sack her when she is such an efficient Secretary?
It seems she let him down by refusing to have a date with him!
Why has he given such an expensive ice-cream to us on getting married?
He says he received a huge dowry from his wife!
Why doesn't his wife object for his not shaving his beard?
Humour in Lighter vein - By Samson Fernandes
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