Patient walks into a doctor's office.
Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Doctor: D id you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No, throw them away like everybody else.
Patient: Doctor, is there anything worse than being old and bent?
Doctor: Yes there is...being young and broke.
Patient: Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?
Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do. This is a bank.
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Tom: Shhh, doctor! My dog's outside in the waiting room!
Mavis: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.
Mavis: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
Tom: What's good for excessive wind, doctor?
Do you find it difficult passing water, Mr. Sozzle?
No, doctor. But I do find it hard to pass a pub!
Bill: My wife beats me, doctor
Bill: Every time we play Scrabble!
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!
Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventually.
Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
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