| Smile Jokes : 296 | Daily Smile

 

 

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 295 | Smile Joke

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.

 Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"

 Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."

 "Memory school? What memory school?"

 Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower . . . "

 "A rose?" asked Red.

 "Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"

 

 

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 294 | Smile Jokes

 

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. ''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now'' ''Yes, I remember him as a baby'' says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now though" the mother confides. "Oh, so sad dear'' says the other. ''And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.'' ''Oh, I remember him,'' says the other happily, ''he had such curly hair when he was born.'' ''He's a martyr too'' says the mother quietly. ''Oh, gracious me . . . '' says the other. ''And this is my third son.  My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. "He would have been 18'', she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, ''I remember when he first started school'' ''He's a martyr also,'' says the mother, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at  the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . .  "They blow up so fast, don't they?"       -- Thanks Liamvks@gmail  Smile Jokes | Tamil Jokes | Face Book | Feedback | Support | Subscribe |Fresh Jobs | www.smilejokes.blogspot.com __,_._,___

 

| Smile Jokes : 293 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 24, 2011

 

Little Johnny's at it again.

A new teacher was trying to make use of her  Psychology courses.

 

She started her class by saying,

 

"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!

 

" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

 

The teacher said,

 

"Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 291 | Marriage woes...

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- ----
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 290 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 23, 2011

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says,

 

"Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."

The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and <poof!> she's gone.

The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and <poof!> she's gone.

The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

 

He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says

 

"No, Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'! "

 

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 291 | Daily Smile

 

A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly missing another golfer.

When the first golfer gets to his ball he is greeted by his unintended victim who angrily tells him of the near miss.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have time to yell fore," says the first golfer.

"That's funny" replies the second, "you had plenty of time to yell 'SHIT!'"

 

 

 

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