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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Humour

 

  Thanks

By Samson Fernandes

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Very Nice Joke

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY: You love me...


GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple


GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??


BOY: I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL: How soon??


BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??


MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN: NO, because you make me sick.


WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What does u think, Peter?

PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.


Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"

Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".


Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I bestowing?"

Student: "Brotherly love".


Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say Prayers before eating?"

Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".


Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time

 

Thanks

Hosam.money

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Saturday, March 15, 2008

Generous lawyer

SmileJokes of the Day For March 15, 2008

Doctor Jokes

 

 

Patient walks into a doctor's office.

 

Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.

 

Doctor: Next!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!

 

Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?

 

Patient: What problem?

 

 

 

***

 

 

Doctor: D id you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?

 

Patient: What pills?

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?

 

Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.

 

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

 

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?

 

Doctor: No, throw them away like everybody else.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, is there anything worse than being old and bent?

 

Doctor: Yes there is...being young and broke.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?

 

Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

 

Teller: You certainly do. This is a bank.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

 

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

 

Tom: Shhh, doctor! My dog's outside in the waiting room!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Mavis: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

 

Doctor: Oh, really?

 

Mavis: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Prisoner: Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

 

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Tom: What's good for excessive wind, doctor?

 

Doctor: A kite!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Do you find it difficult passing water, Mr. Sozzle?

 

No, doctor. But I do find it hard to pass a pub!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Bill: My wife beats me, doctor

 

Doctor: Oh dear. How often?

 

Bill: Every time we play Scrabble!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!

 

Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventually.

 

Liz: But I'm the examiner!

 

 

 

***

 

 

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80.

 

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

 

Doctor: See, what I told you.