|::: Smile Jokes :::| Good Morning

 

 

Good Morning All...

B  E       C  A   L  M   O  R      H  A  V  E      A        B  L  O  O  M                 H  A  N  G     O  U  T      W  I  T H        T  H  E       F  A  M  I   L  Y                  O  R          S   I   M  P    L   Y           W   A   L  K       T  O  G  E  T  H  E  R      W  A   T  C  H                T  H  E               W  A  V  E  S                O  R        W  A  T  C  H         T  H  E         M  O  O  N       R   I  S  E              B  E              I   N                A   C  T   I   O  N     O  R                     S  T  A  Y                I   D  L  E       Do what pleases you and Have a Great Day!

Thanks n Regards,

Mohan D

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| SmileJokes-A-Day

 

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 01, 2008

Wife:       "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."

Husband: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."

Wife:         "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."

Husband:   "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife:         "In the pool."

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| Intelligent ?

A Proof of which Gender is Intelligent an English professor wrote the words:

 

“A woman without her man is nothing"

 

On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

 

All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

 

All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

 

Punctuation is powerful!!

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| SmileJokes of the Day For Jan 31, 2008

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a

Canadian man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. 'We're

Sorry sir, But we have some information about your wife,' said one

Mounties.

 

'Tell me! Did you find her?' the anguished husband sobbed.

 

The Mounties looked at each other. One said, 'We have some bad news,

Some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear

First?'

 

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, 'Give me the bad news first.'

 

The Mountie said,'I'm sorry to tell you, Sir, but this morning we

found your wife's body in the bay.'

 

'Oh my God!' exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, 'What's

the good news?'

 

The Mountie continued,'When we pulled her up, she had twelve 25 lb.

snow crabs & 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her.'

 

Stunned, the husband demanded,'If that's the good news, what's the

great news?'

 

The Mountie said, 'We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow!'

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| TamilJokes-A-Day

 

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| Customer care in 2010

 Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have you’re..."

Customer: "Hello, can I order.."

Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator: "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator: "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator: "According to your medical records, you have high blood
Pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.9! 9"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas; I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: “What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: “????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: Nothing” by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: "***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))"
Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: Faints...  

 

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| The making of the much acclaimed TZP Clay Animation...

 

Stop motion animation veteran, Dhimant Vyas and Aamir Khan Productions have generously shared photos of the making of the Clay Animation sequences from Taare Zameen Par.  Click here to join this group        Click here to join this group      Click here to join this group        Click here to join this group        Click here to join this group

 

Thanks n Regards,

 

Mohan D

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| Smile Jokes Thought for the Day

Smile Jokes Thought for the Day

January 26, 2008

Happiness

We're all after the same thing, and that's happiness.
We want peace of mind.
The trouble with us alcoholics was this:
We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind
in just the particular way we wanted to get it -- by the alcohol route.
And we weren't successful.
But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws,
and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice,
then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . .
There seem to be some rules that we have to follow,
but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone. 
 c. 1980 SMILE JOKESWS, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers,  p. 308
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Thought to Ponder . . .

Happiness is not a station we arrive at; it's a way of traveling.

Smile Jokes-related 'Alconym' . . .

H J F = Happy, Joyous, Free.

 

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| SmileJokes of the Day For Jan 30, 2008

Circus owner

 

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired airline pilot in his sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.

 

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

 

The girl says, "I'll go first."

 

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

 

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor.

 

He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."

He then turns to the retired pilot and asks, "Can you top that?"

 

The tough old pilot replies, "No problem, just get that stupid lion out of the way.

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|::: Smile Jokes :::| Official Matters...

 

Click here to join this group Click here to join this group Click here to join this group Click here to join this group

Thanks n Regards, 

Mohan D

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